Doghouse Dogma #1

New Pup in the House

According to legend, Gautama Siddartha, the Buddha, was meditating one day under the bodhi tree, trying to find the way to supreme inner happiness and peace. A group of musicians came walking along tuning their stringed instruments.  When they tuned the strings too tightly, the Buddha heard that the notes were sharp. When the musicians tuned the strings too loosely, the Buddha heard that the notes were flat.  It was only when the musicians tuned the strings neither too tightly nor too loosely but right in the middle that the notes sounded right. According to legend, that was the moment the Buddha saw that the way to attain supreme inner happiness and peace was the "middle way" *

Living with a puppy is not, one discovers rather abruptly, all hugs and kisses.  Puppies cuddle with us, lick our faces, and bring us immeasurable joy.  They also shit on the oriental, chew the legs on great grandmother's Windsor rocker, and bite on our hands like some maniacal son of Cujo.  All too soon we discover we've brought home both the puppy from heaven and the puppy from hell. AAAAARGH!  I NEED HELP!

Okay, put pup in her crate, go sit in your favorite chair, take a few slow, deep breaths, and read on. You're not the only human dealing with this apparent four-legged paradox. I've listened to your tales of horror for over twenty six years. Now re-read the opening paragraph. I said re-read it! You see, establishing a loving relationship with pup involves some work.  Love includes affection, praise, discipline, patience, understanding, trust, respect, help, and, above all, learning how to balance it all. First, we need to balance that loving relationship on mutual trust and respect, for they are the foundation for all that follows. Discipline, a system of rules governing conduct, must be measured carefully.  Neither too much praise and affection, nor too much correction. You need to find the "middle way".  I always begin by helping a pup to learn "sit". This simple, positive act establishes a healthy bonding, gives pup self confidence, and helps him learn a proper way to earn affection and praise.  Because pup has to learn how to leam, he will learn to learn from us.  It is only after pup has learned some positive act from me, will I even think about correcting him for an inappropriate behavior!  I visit daily with puppy owners, who tell me they feel totally frustrated because 90% of the time they are telling pup "No".  This doesn't mean pup's out of control; it means we're out of control.  It also indicates that we can use some outside assistance.  It doesn't mean we're bad dog people.

So, if you're having a problem with pup, get help. As Wilfred Brimley would say, "It's the right thing to do".  Problems range from housesoiling and mouthing (biting) to such things as, "How do I deal with pup and my two year old daughter?" and, "Bozo just doesn't listen to me". How do you know if you need help?  If you're stuck.  If you've yelled at pup once, you need help.  If you're angry, frustrated or ambivalent with pup, yup, you need help. Learn the "middle way".  You and pup both deserve it.

copyright 2001 by Ray McSoley, Jan.  * The Transformative Power of Crisis, Robert M. Altar and Jane Altar